Time for a new ‘love’?
“Hey, this feels very strange! I finally ‘get it’ that I don’t have to rush home from my grocery shopping because someone is waiting, depending on me!” After living her life for others beginning with her birth family then husband and child, and always her beloved pets, Mom is finally just beginning, for the first time ever, to understand the mixed blessing of freedom. She can get a full night’s sleep and begin to give to herself.
While the reality is that there is NOT someone waiting to love her when she comes in the door or accompany her on her walks and trips can make her feel sad, in her case, it’s important for her to feel all the ramifications of that freedom so this time she can choose that responsibility for herself when the time feels right to her.
This can be a really confusing time for her, too. Recently celebrating her friend’s newly adopted Layla, who is the ‘spitting image’ of Bubbles, certainly gave her pause. She was left wondering, will she know when the right time for a ‘new love’ IS. Well, the obvious answer is that it’s unique to all humans AND us animals, too.
Bubbles, no longer able to remain silent, suggests, “Here’s one example of choosing too soon (which--no accidents--happened to be the RIGHT time for Mom and me!). I was adopted with the best intentions for the family’s only child, Robyn, when she was just 7 years old. As is so very often the case under those circumstances, after all the snuggling and cuddling on my adorable fluffy puppy hood, the child lost interest and my care and feeding fell to my Mom.”
“Years later,” Sugar I takes over, “Robyn felt ready so I became a member of the family. Then the Dad had Olga the Great Dane, Mom had Bubbles and the child had me, in the fluffy little white cockapoo body. I suppose we looked a bit like a canine version of the 3 bears!”
“Through the fun times and some health challenges, my best friend Robyn grew to womanhood, leaving for college and work”, Sugar continues. “She labored over whether I’d be happier in a more stable home, better able to manage my health, but she just couldn’t bring herself to make such a choice, my care and maintenance once again falling to Mom—for a while. Boy, I had lots of adventures with both of my girls for a whole 18 ½ years! Tenderly, peacefully passing in my child/woman’s arms was devastating to her after such a long, meaningful relationship. It was four whole years before she could even entertain the thought of ‘replacing me’.”
Thinking maybe a retriever would be a nice companion, one day Robyn found herself just ‘browsing’ the internet for such a dog who might need her. Sadly, finding no one in Arizona, she was about to turn from the computer when she decided to just check out one more Retriever Rescue organization.
“Well, it was instant passionate LOVE when she saw my beautiful red face!” a voice exclaims. “Only trouble was I was in Louisiana. And another slight problem—my name was also SUGAR!”
But the connection was so very strong there were no insurmountable problems.
“Surely some real magic was happening here”, the second Sugar goes on, “Turns out I was a pure Nova Scotia Duck Tolling Retriever NAMED SUGAR II! Yes, my new Mom had thought of giving me a different name, but when she discovered it actually written down as Sugar II on my health records, it was sealed. We’ve been a perfect match from the git go, too.”
So we’re telling our stories today to remind Mom and anyone else who may be struggling with ‘WHEN is the right time for a new love’ to relax into memories of us until the mind will allow us through your heart to choose—whether it turns out to take just one day or a whole decade!
And Mom wants to add a special footnote today: “I wondered again why it felt like I was procrastinating finishing this article and understand now that my job is taking care of unresolved issues from my past in order to even more fully give as well as receive love the next time around. But even more importantly to remember to thank my sweet, troubled Katie Lou for showing me I am capable of a magnificent unconditional love and my devoted boy, Black Jack, for reaffirming that lesson for me.”
Surely there’s a higher wisdom at work here…