Thursday, August 12, 2010
BLACK JACK'S story continues...
THE REST OF THE STORY…
Jack & Judy’s journey
There is so very much that has come to light with Black Jack’s passing. I share our experience with the sincere hope that it might provide some nugget of Truth for you, too. Although not everyone is blessed to bond so long and so closely with their pet as I was allowed, I believe the same messages are offered by them to us all.
The transition of my loving companion has become a euphoric experience, but the journey wasn’t all ‘roses’…
I feared that my poor boy was staying even though struggling in his decrepit body because he might be sensing that I feared the unknown of re-inventing myself once he was no longer my entire focus. All my life has been centered on being of service to others never truly knowing Judy.
My fears were calmed enough to consider giving Jack his freedom by Robyn’s suggesting the next steps for my life be taken slowly, ‘one bite at time’.
On Sunday, August 8, following my contacting both Day and Kat, pet communicators, for their input and support, Kat shared that when the heavy energy around her care giving with her elderly dog lifted, she was able to move forward more clearly. It’s wonderful to have such wise counsel and one never knows from where it will come…
Also loving Jack, Kat immediately did the intuitive reading I’ve shared (Jack’s final words of wisdom and wishes) but Day didn’t get my email. However she called to come by for another, unrelated issue. Before she arrived she was being given messages from Jack that it was time. Both of my pet communicators had repeatedly told me that my boy would choose his departure time. I took their messages literally; they were able to show me he was indeed choosing by my coming to the conclusion he needed assistance to go now. Both of us were desperately trying to please the other—me thinking he wanted to stay, him waiting for me to be ready to let him go. So he did choose…
After a 3 hour drive, Robyn arrived the same evening and in telephoning answering services for the hours of veterinarians in the area, were led to a very caring doctor who was available 24 hours. It all seemed so fast that my head was swimming. But nothing would have changed, were his passing to be delayed another 12 hours—we simply would have both had one more difficult night.
So Black Jack demanded one more huge bowl of his food/soup. We read the prayers that Kat shared with us. I had his blue blanket in mind to take with us, but didn’t find it anywhere until the next day so I chose another one. On the drive to the vet’s office Black Jack was totally relaxed on my lap. It was such a ‘warm and fuzzy hug’ I wanted it to go on forever. But then Day returned a call I’d made earlier to her. While we were talking Black Jack indicated that he wanted her to get off the phone quickly so he could also finish enjoying his relaxing in my lap.
Black Jack knew exactly where and why we were there. He became agitated in my arms, even crying out and throwing his head back. I wondered if he were afraid, doing all I could to comfort him—but not enough. Just as the injection was being given he once again threw his head back which caused me more devastating concern! Robyn was there and reassured me that his eyes were peaceful as he left, so I was somewhat comforted. When it was all done he gently sighed…
August 9 was a day of grieving, doubting, missing him, reminiscing with laughter watching videos of him young and happy. What great therapy—now I can remember him this way and let go of the last sad several years. I’m so glad Robyn shared it with me.
Day was scheduled to visit again. And once more Black Jack sent her with messages so I could completely rid myself of any negativity around his transition. First, his agitation was his attempting to leave his body before I had to watch him receive the injection. The whole time his angel never left his side—even as he was throwing his head back that final time saying “I’m SO ready, take me!”. And if this were not the case, any pain, struggle, discomfort endured on this side is totally overshadowed by the exquisiteness that greets them.
The next confirmation was the gorgeous sunrise the next day.
August 10 was exhilarating because all I ever wanted was for my boy to be happy.
I’ve not had a visit yet, but rather feel him with me all the time as we simultaneously process our new joy, supporting one another. A few times I imagine hearing his quiet sounds in the night but instantly realize… When I begin to feel sorry for myself, I remember all these things, and of course that I got to care for him so very many years. The sadness is mixed with the freeing feeling that I no longer “belong” to anyone. This feels almost malleable like clay that I now get to mold into whatever I choose.
Yesterday and today I’m coming down to earth but feeling and determined to pay attention to my best Black Jack guidance! It seems quite strange to have choices that don’t revolve around anyone but myself—I’m managing to cope so far… Quite frankly it feels rather good to answer to just Judy for the first time in my life.
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