11/30/09 Got to awaken being cuddled in my warm blanket. Later, Mom gave me a good massage. It felt good to get the fancy shirt off for a bit since I wear it all the time now. Originally it was to keep the sun off, now to help keep me warm. Then she put a clean shirt back on--I really, really get them dirty with my sloppy eating. Guess I need a bib like a baby!
Today was the day for Day to come and give Mom her massage. I love Day and really appreciate seeing her--especially today. She always helps Mom get messages from me. Today I made it clear that I'm no longer feeling much of anything. Day thought I was being stubborn staying this long, but that's just not in my nature. I'm the easy going type. So together they figured out that I just love Mom so fiercely that I simply don't want to leave her. Apparently one CAN love another too much since I know I'd be more free and happy on the other side. Hey, just figured out that if I'm numb in body as well as mind, maybe that's why my legs wobble and don't support me very well. Guess one would say the colors are a now a dim white, silver, gold glimmering light of angels. Perhaps they will shimmer more brightly soon.
The night was awful. I kept thinking about what Day had helped me realize and was only happy after Mom put me in bed with her. Sadly this left Mom with a sleepless night, too.
12/1/09 I was really tired today of course and so after 'duty call' Mom put me back in my 'kitchen bed' where I stayed until she got home from a short trip! Of course Mom was really, really tired, too but she had to go. Strangely she had the energy to take her walk and then take me, too. Since she could do this for us/me I did my walk well even finding some sniffs. Our night started like last night, but Mom made it clear she wasn't going to be able to do the 'no sleep' thing again, so I finally got nested and we did well.Mo
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